Exploding pressure cooker did this.
The other day, I was cooking bone marrow in the iron pressure cooker I found about a year ago and I didn’t wait for it to cool before opening. It EXPLODED and I screamed. The hot water and oil rained on my face, hair and shoulders as the top flew across the room.
I had 1st and 2nd degree burns on my face. When I went home the next day, mom FREAKED out real bad, and her anxiety/attitude about it got me all frazzled too until I hit a break point and we started fighting with each other. How is being angry with the victim of a physically hurt person supposed to help them recover?
I know people have good intentions, and they do things out of care but if you truly love someone, then don’t hurt them; don’t do what you do to “care” because ultimately isn’t doing the opposite. If you realize this, you’ll stop.
Anyway, I remember her distinctly saying, “This can be permanent!” and catastrophizing the situation–and that grew a fire of anxiety and fear in me. I never thought of that; it didn’t even occur in my mind that would be a possibility. I had always assumed the positive; and that was that it would heal, and it would be back to normal.
Enraged, we shouted at each other.
10 minutes later.
I was the first to apologize. She seemed to resentfully accept this apology, as she put on Polysporin a sort of antibacterial cream the consistency of lard, on my burns. She did so quietly and made no verbal response of acceptance. Her face fraught with discontentment.
The next day, my face was swollen. I woke up, went for a 40 minute job, and we drove to the hospital. I couldn’t escape a bitter lecture about how careless I was and how much stress I caused the family. I wanted to retort with “well, then I’m better off dead,” but thought better of it. It was easier nodding and taking the criticism than repeating the previous day’s argument.
The emergency wait was 2 hours long–not too bad compared to other times my parents have visited. The doctor (thankfully!) said my face should heal in 1-2 weeks and no permanent scarring. I just have to keep applying the cream and stay out of direct sunlight. I don’t like the sun anyway!
The next day, I actually broke down at my condition. I grieved for the physical limitations (I couldn’t touch my face or do any of the things I took for pleasure like yoga, nuzzling my pillow, washing my face, etc…) and my appearance. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt like an ugly duckling. I didn’t feel happy or confident–I felt trapped, limited, stiff, and gross. Oily-oily gross. Burned steak with charred grill marks and smother lard gross.
Eventually I gathered up the balls to shake myself up and head outside. I made a vlog. I face the outdoors.
Hello may. May you and i blossom this month. How have you been holding up, m'fitties? Change has been scary but I think I'm ready to step back on my feet. With small steps and with grace and humility. Getting out of my head and meeting new people has been immensely helpful. I've also accepted a new fulltime job offer which begins on Monday. Change is coming! • •• 👉May magic: • 🎇Start new fulltime job. 🎇Adjust to new schedule 🎇Meet some amazing people in the city 🎇More yoga. More yoga. More yoga. 🎇More flow. More getting lost in time and getting so caught up in the things i enjoy that I lose track of time. May may be magical! What're you looking forward to?
Lesson learned? DON’T FUCK WITH A PRESSURE COOKER.
Be mindful and intentional with everything you do.
Never take your skin for granted.
Even when your light is low, 🎇 When saltwater pours from your eyes and you find yourself swimming in an ocean of sadness; Know that this moment doesn't last forever. It will not last forever. Everything is temporary. This urge to harm yourself or others, this knife you feel in your heart, this pain, this regret, this guilt, this shame, this confusion, this anger, this anxiety, this frustration, this lost-ness that you feel; it is ebbing and flowing. I am sending all the positive vibes to you that my heart musters today. Good things ARE coming. So don't you dare give up. 😙
It’s now been 2 and half weeks since the incident and my face is 90% healed! I’ve documented my progress through daily vlogs; the entire documentary ended up being 45 minutes long, so I split it into 4 videos over youtube. One was filmed the day of the emergency room, and the other three were the process of not letting myself be held back because I was so self conscious of my face. I went out downtown, I saw friends, I did things, I recorded my face and met new people. This is perfect timing–I started a new full-time job this month so I won’t have time to vlog much around my life and so I don’t know what content I’d be able to put out there during this time except for this one! My new full-time job involves me sitting down a lot (sedentary) in front of a computer indoors. I’ll be honest–I’d rather be waitressing, but I also appreciate this new work environment where I have my own little desk, and the people here are great too!
Even when your light is low, 🎇
When saltwater pours from your eyes and you find yourself swimming in an ocean of sadness;
Know that this moment doesn’t last forever. It will not last forever.
Everything is temporary. This urge to harm yourself or others, this knife you feel in your heart, this pain, this regret, this guilt, this shame, this confusion, this anger, this anxiety, this frustration, this lost-ness that you feel; it is ebbing and flowing.
I am sending all the positive vibes to you that my heart musters today.
Good things ARE coming. So don’t you dare give up.
Have you ever suffered from a bad burn? Do you use a pressure cooker? Do you use an instant pot?